Week 8 Writing

14 September 2021

WALT:  Follow the sequence of Narrative writing

The Cow And The Turkey

Once upon a time there was a cow living a normal life like every other cow, until she met the craziest bird she could ever meet, his name was Gavin. Gavin had a horrible looking face, half white, half brown, looking like someone had spilled coffee all over Gavin’s head. Although Gavin looked reasonably ugly he was nice, loving, and friendly. He’d try to help anyone, especially the cow Lanna. Lanna is the cow I was talking about before, the one that met Gavin. Lanna is double crazy since she has met Gavin. Lanna is a black cow with splotches of white all over her but mostly on Lanna’s face and neck. When Lanna was a calf she met an old man called Allison. Allison has always worn an old raggedy waterproof jumpsuit. After a while Lanna had to move to a different paddock. Lanna is freaked out that other cow’s just poop at random places. 

Problem 1

Lanna was raised by Allison and fed by Allison, Allison did everything for Lanna. Lanna had never ever moved out of the paddock she got raised in until today when she got moved out of her paddock. Lanna was happy because she was still on the same farm and she was with her buddies that she had grown up with, but above all of that there was a slight problem with Lanna moving paddocks. Lanna did not like it because her normal paddock had a bigger paddock and Lanna felt like she was stuck in a tiny space where no one could see her. Lanna felt invisible and not noticed. Lanna would wail everyday and everyday no one would come except one day Gavin heard Lanna wailing and calling out “Someone please come and help me go back to my home, where I belong!” Then all of a sudden Gavin came along and questioned Lanna “Was that you wailing and screaming out  someone please come and help me go back to my home, where I belong.” Lanna replied while sobbing quietly “Yes that was me because this paddock is just too different from the one I belong in.” 

Solution 1

Gavin thought of the best idea he had ever thought of, his idea was to try to fly and pick up Lanna and then fly Lanna over to her paddock. All in one breath Gavin called out “I should have flying lessons, then I’d be able to pick you up and  fly you over to your old paddock, where you belong.” Lanna had a think about what Gavin had said to her and then Lanna eventually told Gavin that “It’s a good idea.” Lanna got some baby bamboo that was by her paddock and used them as the lights that help planes go the right way. Gavin cleared all of the other cows to make a runway for Gavin. As soon as Gavin finished his flying lesson's, off they were. That is why you can see a cow jump over the moon. 

Self Assessment:

What I liked about my writing

I liked that in this piece of writing I could let my imagination and creativity go loose

I liked that I could add as many details as I wanted

What I need to improve on

Improve my proofreading skills

Write names with capital letters

Make sure sentences make sense